My Daily Cup of "E" (Emotions) LOL

Ugh, Last night was horrible. With Taylor being gone for so long and me going through all the chemical pregnancies/false positives in the last 2 months and I'm SO worn out. I think I need a drink! LOL.... Oh man, is that only funny to me? I went off on Taylor last night on IM. Seriously, it was so weird I even saved the IM cuz it was so strange... I started having these crazy extreme hot flashes starting around 4pm. They lasted like 5-10 then Id have about 5-10 min break then it would come back. They started calming down around 10pm!!

By 11pm I am all of a sudden freezing. Goosebumps, shivering and shaking uncontrollably and was very paranoid too.... Felt very sick to my stomach really thought I was going to throw up.

11:15, my mood went back to normal, and so did my body temp but my feet and hands were still freezing. My feet kept going numb, and legs felt like they were losing circulation when I layed down, mostly on my right side. My arms did it at weird times too. It was seriously so strange.

Heres the IM I had with Taylor while going through the cold chill. For some reason I think this is really important stuff to show my Dr. Im NEVER like this. I dont think I have EVER asked him if he was with someone else. It was seriously VERY weird.

Taylor: I so have to go to bed!
Taylor: I love you and miss you
me: WHY ARENT U ASLEEP and if u have been awake why ru JUST now IMing me?
Taylor: It was a wierd night. I'll tell you about it tomorrowday.
me: have u been IM with someone else?
Taylor: I got back just a little while ago
me: ?
Taylor: I was with some nerds (he called them nerds because thats how I labelled them, it was an identifying name for me to know who he was with)
me: r u ok?
Taylor: ya
me: r u drunk?
Taylor: I had a few.
me: i dont feel good about this
Taylor: I'm ok
me: something isnt right
me: i dont like it
me: and i have a feeling youve done something that would upset me
me: i think i might throw up
me: hello?
Taylor: I was at a village pub and the people who run it kept buying us drinks
Taylor: I'm okay.
me: ur drunk
me: what happened?
Taylor: We stayed at the pub and talked to the local people.
Taylor: Then I showed Richard and Tom the church and we came back.
Taylor: We ate dinner there.
Taylor: Are you there
me: yes
me: but what is so crazy
me: what happened thats so crazy that kept u out drinking til 5am
me: did u kiss another woman?
Taylor: No
Taylor: I didn't kiss anyone.
Taylor: I was with two other people
me: or anything of that nature?
Taylor: No
Taylor: Nothing of that nature
me: something isnt right about you or what u r talking about and i dont feela any peace about this
me: im trying to figure out whats going on
me: were u IMing any one else before u IMd me?
Taylor: We haven't been drinking for a quite a while. We were walking for a long time. around the church and in the village.
Taylor: no
Taylor: I just got on.
Taylor: The other guys are still talking here.
me: idk
me: i dont feel right
Taylor: In the club room
me: what is going on?
Taylor: Nothing, they are talking and I am talking to you.
Taylor: We walked around the church and village and we are her.
Taylor: e
me: r u drunk?
Taylor: no
me: when i asked u earlier u gave me a different response
Taylor: what was my response?
Taylor: I am okay.
me: ur gonna go into the hotel and ur dad is gonna see that ur drunk
Taylor: I'm not drunk.
me: well im glad ur having fun.
me: when do u plan on sleeping? Because you will NOT be sleeping when u get home
Taylor: I won't
me: i will make sure you wont
me: the last 2 days I have felt really uneasy when Ive talked to you
me: and idk why
me: and u arent talking to me
me: so whatever
Taylor: I don't know what to do.
Taylor: I love you. I am ok and we are ok.
me: who is we
Taylor: me and you.
me: im not ok
me: idk y u think i am
Taylor: Can I do something to help you be okay?
me: im sitting here telling u that i dont feel good about whatever u have been doing the last 2 days
me: idk
me: whats been different the last 2 days
Taylor: I don't know what to do.
Taylor: idk
Taylor: I found the village last night.
me: what was int he villiage that was so cool u had to show other people?
me: dont they all live there?
me: dont erase
Taylor: It was old and historic. from the 14th century
Taylor: earlier too
me: im dearly sorry
Taylor: It was cool
me: I shouldnt be like this
me: I have had a very stressful week and its all me. Im being a stupid horrible wife right now, and Im sorry. I need to quit. I love you. I really do. And I shouldnt have been like that. Im sorry
Taylor: You are being a good wife who loves me. I love you. This
Taylor: has been very hard for you and I know that.
Taylor: I have been a very long way away.
Taylor: I love you,
Taylor: I am going to be home soon. It is okay to worry about me.
Taylor: Are you okay?
me: idk
me: i have jsut really needed u
Taylor: I know.
Taylor: I will be there so soon.
me: it sucks to hear about u having a good ole time while im in alot of pain
me: maybe its just jealousy
me: idk
Taylor: I'm sorry. It's not fair. I know that.
me: It doesnt have to be fair
me: i need to get over it
me: im hungry and tired
me: u should go to bed too
Taylor: Can I hug you soon?
Taylor: please
me: well u f*n better
Taylor: wow
me: never ask for a hug
me: u shouldve learned that by now
me: and when i push you away from hugging me, you better chase after my ass
Taylor: I will.
Taylor: I love you
me: ok, well hopefully ur dad wont look at u as irresponsible for being out so late, go get some sleep.
Taylor: ok. I love you.
Taylor: I will see you soon
me: I will see ya at 2:25 at whatever gate your flight will be at
Taylor: and you better have a hug ready.
me: I love you
me: Goodnight
Taylor: I love you
Taylor: Goodnight

It was about 10:30 pm my time, 5:30 am his time....

Just weird. It wasnt right. I'm gonna talk to my RE about it all. My friend Kelly thinks it may have something to with my hormone imbalance, so I wont deny that, the hot flashes followed by cold chills.... it makes sense to me.

Taylor will be landing in just a few hours. Im SO ready for him to be here.

I need a break.

A break from me!! LOL.... Geeze I feel like Im seriously going insane. I should be starting AF any day now.

Monday is just around the corner. I will feel a lot more confident after talking to RE. And after Taylor gets here. Anyways, I'm done for now.

Emotionally Exhausted!!!